Saturday, January 16, 2016

My Duran Duran Fascination

I didn’t really get into Duran Duran  until after “Ordinary World” first came out, but then it was only a little bit. I was mainly into country music in the 1990s up until 1998. I don’t even really remember much about them from the 1980s. I did have a 45 of their “Hungry Like the Wolf”. It was one of only 10 that I had in that decade.

    I never watched MTV or music videos on other channels either. Wait, I did see Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” around the time that it premiered. Even Mom was watching that! I only saw parts of DD videos in specials about the 80s on VH1 and other channels in the 1990s. I never saw a full video of theirs until around 2007. I got the Greatest CD that came with a DVD then.

   I didn’t look in those teenie bopper mags when I was a kid either, except for the 1 or 2 that my Grandma next door got for me because she thought that I had a crush on Michael J. Fox. I liked him in the movie Back to the Future, that’s all.

   I remember wanting to laugh when my grade school classmates were talking about which  one of the Duran Duran guys that they each had a crush on. I simply did not get why they were so fascinated by them back then. I guess that I kind of do now though.

     I’m kind of ashamed to even admit that I am a DD fan. It’s mostly been for only the past 3 years. I didn’t even go to their official website for the first time until last summer. I learned about the history of this group then. I felt like I was doing research for a term paper on them.

   I would love to say “I just like their music” when people ask me who is my favorite DD guy. I could also simply say that they are all good looking in their own way. A couple of times I have admitted which one it is. I can’t help feeling embarrassed about this. I have got shame issues that I am trying to work on, esp. when it comes to music and certain guys.

   I used to have many dreams with my music people in them, esp. Duran Duran. I was worrying that this might be kind of obsessive but my therapist said that it isn’t. It’s not as if I have any control over what I dream about.

    Should I be ashamed to even admit that I see a therapist? My issues are anxiety- esp. social, extremely low self-esteem and depression. Hopefully I will be able to overcome all of this. My music does help to calm me down and cheer me up a little. Why is it that I often choose DD to do this?

   I have even pictured a certain guy in this group hugging me and telling me that it’s going to be alright. This is majorly embarrassing. I don’t even like to be touched- yet another issue.

    Why do I feel that it is okay for everyone else to like Duran Duran but for me it seems sort of wrong? I used to feel the same way about Bon Jovi but not so much now. I’m kind of over that phase. I didn’t start liking them until after “It’s My Life” came out in 2000. I guess that it’s better late than never for both of these groups.

   Part of me is just hoping that liking DD a lot is just some phase that I am going through, like my Beatles/McCartney/Wings one of the late 80s and early 90s. It’s not a crime for me to be a fan of theirs. I have to convince myself to believe this. And it’s not a sin to admit that bassist guy is my favorite. Yikes, I can’t even type his name, that is how embarrassed that I am.

     I am hearing “Planet Earth” playing in my mind’s stereo. Now I’m thinking how I’d like to listen to the Night Version of this- love the extra bass. Damnit, does this make it seem like I am semi-obsessed with that guy? -Probably not. Actually, I’d love to see this video. I get a kick of the puffy shirts in that. Bring those back into fashion- just kidding.

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